Tuesday

A little better day. Kept obsessing about my gender as it's super unclear. Again felt the urge to come out to my mom. I guess the main reason would be to stop feeling this anxiety. I feel a constant anxiety not knowing how she would react. I know it wouldn't be good either way. It feels like now this life and the whole relationship is temporary and is based on lies.
Now even little girls can trigger my dysphoria. Thinking how amazing it would be born a girl. I could enjoy my full life from an early age. At least I was younger, would have a little more life left...