Thursday

Coffee, sugar and metal.
After lunch I wasn't able to work for a while. Was close to fainting while sitting. Those antidepressants are affecting me a lot. If I was more or less healthy then I guess it wouldn't be that problematic.
My pretty coworker is triggering me constantly. Because of my dysphoria I can't appreciate beauty anymore. And there was a time when I would look at myself and would feel completely fine. I wish I knew how exactly that was. I was exposed to trans porn and femboy Reddit. That was the beginning. For a long time I thought it was some fetish of mine. I remember when I saw those femboys and read some of the posts it felt like home. Instantly I related a lot even though it was my first time exposed to that type of thing.