The day started with me doing the usual stuff but yesterday's state is still dragging. The dysphoria is the strongest, can't control my thinking about it. It was a while since I slipped like this. It feels like I'm stuck mentally. Like I can't let go of an emotion. At work I felt like shit but I was able to do some work. One moment I managed to see and feel the whole picture. Eyes became a bit watery for a second. That's when I knew it was good. Then at the end of work and now in the late evening I feel more or less neutral which is great compared to yesterday. And right now I don't really want to die. At least for now.
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