Positive pessimism. That's a term I came up with while riding a bus. Sometimes I create bad/negative scenarios so I can be prepared and/or not get hurt too much. And if I don't dwell on them then that's when it becomes a positive pessimism. I did the same before going to my new psychiatrist.
The visit went better than expected. When I brought up my dysphoria she didn't seem to be too narrow minded or homophobic. She asked when it started and how I'm feeling. It seemed that she had some knowledge about this and it felt good. However she could only promise to look into higher level psychiatrists. It appears that even she isn't sure if there is a place where I could be tested and put on HRT. According to her, it's either there was just an idea being pushed for such mentioned place OR the place exists but it's very new. I'm afraid that in this country HRT isn't even possible. This country tries to mimic the West in all sorts of ways but not in the ways that matter the most. And I'm talking here in general too. Anyway, my next visit is next month.
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