Thursday

The first 2-3 hours at work were so fucking hard. I was deeply depressed. My eyes got wet but I couldn't fully cry because I was exhausted after only 4 hours of sleep. Had plenty of suicidal thoughts. I'm sure I would have done it already but I'm quite self-aware when I get stuck in darkness... Then music, coffee and work helped to shift my state just a little. But that was something. I often feel disabled by my mental situation. Oh and my health issues are no joke either so...
Sometimes my face looks alright but sometimes I'm scared of how masculine I can look. Fuck me. I mean it could be worse but it's still very sad.